I’m here to tell you about a major issue. World peace? The U.S. government shutting down in a few days? Terrorists shooting anything that moves? No! It’s much more serious than any of that. I’m talking about my hairstyle crisis. We moved from Florida to Alabama, and I left my precious hairstylist Michelle behind. I went into withdrawal and let my hair grow until I looked like a scarecrow.
Meanwhile, Jim was popping around the corner to Off the Top hair salon with good results. Since he didn’t look like a Jeff Foxworthy joke or Grandpa Jones after his haircut I thought I would give it a try. The salon is less than five minutes from the house. I could leave my work behind during my lunch hour, get a hair-cut and be home to enjoy my lunch of meat loaf and gravy, mashed potatoes, fried okra, green beans, buttered-biscuits, a tall glass of iced tea and chocolate cake for dessert. Sorry. I got carried away with my menu, remembering the country food list on Hee Haw.
You probably wouldn’t remember Grandpa Jones “What’s for Supper?” menus on the Hee Haw television show. Or, do you? Perrier, a sandwich and a salad would be my reality lunch.
I took my hairstyle crisis to Mindell, a pretty, friendly hairstylist and proprietor of Off the Top.
Describing simple instructions, I said “Cut this part short, but this layer should be long; flip this up and layer this under; the bangs should be wispy and the overall effect should be thick; the color should be blonde but not too blonde with dark streaks, but not too dark; the hairstyle should be fresh and young. Got that?”
Michelle, my hairstylist in Florida, always had soothing music playing and a cup of green tea waiting for me. Her shop was situated in tropical greenery and flowers with soft lighting. I always looked pretty in the salon mirrors. I told Mindell about Michelle; she looked skeptical and asked if I had a picture of me with this fantastic hairstyle. I admitted that I didn’t, but I had another picture that looked just like me when Michelle finished styling my hair. Suddenly Mindell’s eyes nearly bulged out of her head and she rushed to the back room with the other ladies following her. I heard loud laughter like they were watching a new episode of the Big Bang Theory. I asked if they saw something funny in the back room when she returned. She said I needed to bring another picture that wasn’t Jennifer Aniston or Angelina Jolie and hinted that she was a hairstylist not a miracle worker. I thought she said something about me going back to Saint Michelle’s shop as I walked away.
A few days later, I was looking for a recipe in a cookbook when I saw my hairstyle on the book cover, on Martha Stewart’s head! Mindell didn’t rule out Martha Stewart’s picture. I slipped the cookbook cover into my purse and called for a hair appointment. When I was leaving for my appointment, Jim saw the cover peeking from the top of my purse and called out, “Hey, looks like your cookbook fell out of the cover.” Ha! Ha! Very funny! I left the cookbook so you can prepare meat loaf, mashed potatoes … while I am gone.
Or, perhaps you could prepare lunch from the Le Petit Paris menu. Jim mumbled something about me needing intensive care for my hairstyle if he had time to cook all of that stuff. From the car door I called out, I heard that! Barely audible, I heard him say as he walked away, “Sometimes I wish she didn’t buy those expensive hearing aids.” Maybe he is like Grandpa Jones.
Jim offered me some advice in the form of a Hee Haw joke: Roy – “Say, Gordy. I hear your girl is a real smart one and makes her money with a pen. Is she a writer?”
Gordy – “Naw, she raises hogs”
I’m declining Jim’s smelly hog pen proposition and hoping you will prefer seeing my book “A French Opportunity” that is filled with the influence of my upbringing with colorful, wholesome humor. Just click the picture below to enter the door with photographer Jim’s reflection. Click to France-storytelling and pictures to enjoy seeing some of my favorite French doorways without Jim’s reflection included.